Why the French make the best lovers in the world
Ah, the French. Purveyors of fine wines. Experts of smelly cheeses. Owners of fine castles. And, in my humble opinion, amazing lovers. In the name of research only I decided to test the theory that when it comes to making love, the French are in a league of their own. Well, after years of tests, the results are in, and I can confirm that compared to all other nations, there is no comparison.
I also can scientifically explain to you why they are so good. Read on, dear reader, and discover for yourself why so many international beauties marry Frenchmen. It’s also a great reason for me to use some nice photos.
#1 Losing their virginity is not a big deal
The film American Pie is all about 4 teenage boys desperate to lose their virginity. English and American culture seems to really make a huge deal about the importance of losing virginity and making sure that it is carried out in the right conditions. The French age of consent is 15 and their first time is not considered a huge milestone, but rather the first step in a career of pleasurable and memorable moments.
#2 They know how to seduce
Seduction is the same word in English than in French. However, seduction in English seems to have a negative connotation, as though the person who is seducing is right out of Mrs Robinson’s book in the Graduate. The French treat seduction as a game and a natural part of the steps before making love. It is expected and appreciated. Jumping into bed after 5 minutes of winking and nudging will just not work, I’m afraid.
#3 They’re naturally confident with the opposite sex
If you watch teenagers in French schools, they form groups of girls and boys. There is no natural segregation where they look at each other from afar and giggle. Communication between the sexes starts early and even at a young age boys don’t really pick on girls just because they’re girls. Parents ask their children good-naturedly who is their child’s “fiancé” at the moment even if they know that there’s nothing disturbing about such a relationship, it’s just girls and boys getting to know each other. It’s a very interesting comparison to me, who grew up in rural England and only discovered girls at 17 with goggle-eyed fascination.
#4 They don’t obsess about pornography
If you walk into a newsagent’s in France (called a “Maison de Presse”), you don’t see many ‘top shelf’ magazines. Pornography is considered a normal, if not particularly healthy, past time. The French don’t freak out about it as though it’s something the devil made for sinners to participate in. And because it’s not an obsession, it’s not a big industry. Basically, the French would rather do the real thing.
#5 Women are not treated like objects
The Marianne is a symbol of the Goddess of Liberty in France, but it is more and more becoming a representation of French beauty, with famous models being used to give features to the statures or busts that are created. Famous French beauties like Brigitte Bardot, Catherine Deneuve, Sophie Marceau, Emmanuelle Béart and Laetitia Casta are respected and admired, not drooled over. Strong, direct women with an opinion are sought after as wives, not demure plastic blondes that are just good for cooking and lying still.
#6 They look after themselves
Obesity rates in France are growing, but still are low compared to most Western countries. The French love their food, but keep the portions quite small. Dressing well is also important. They don’t know what “sweatpants” are. It is important for the French to look good, even well into their 80’s. Elegance and charm go a long way to making sure there is a spark in the bedroom.
#7 They don’t get upset about nudity
Even though it’s a little more regulated than before, seeing a nipple now and then on daytime TV is doesn’t cause a riot or thousands of complaints to the watchdog. The French are very relaxed about nudity and don’t demand perfection from their partner’s bodies. This level of comfort means that making love is all about pleasure and having fun with a smile, rather than keeping the lights off and worrying about how large your underwear is.
#8 France is the land of Romance
Poetry, art, films and novels all wax lyrical about the romance in France (those two words rhyme for a reason, you know). Couples the world over dream of going to Paris, the City of Light, on romantic weekends. Well, the French actually live there because they made romance. It’s part of their culture. They have an expression “dîner en tête-à-tête”, which means a romantic dinner, something even couples that have been together for years are expected to do regularly.